Noisemaze (Transformers Cybertron Profiles)

Transformers Cybertron Noisemaze

Double Agents faction symbol
Name: Noisemaze
Allegiance: Double Agents
Function: Subversive tactician
Timeline: Unicron Trilogy

Truth is an illusion... and that's the truth.


Transformers Cybertron Noisemaze robot mode
Noisemaze has been a liar and a swindler since the day he came online. A smooth-talking, easy-going 'bot, Noisemaze lulls potential marks into a false sense of security with his casual manner, making small talk and jokes, all while sizing up them up to make them further his own goals - and let them believe it was their idea in the first place. But go a little deeper, and behind that friendly, laid back exterior lurks a cold and calculating master manipulator who knows how to lace weave lies with enough truth and flattery to come across as believable and get exactly what he wants. Noisemaze cloaks himself in an air of mystery, closely guarding his true intentions. Those who see through Noisemaze's friendly facade see how much of Noisemaze's manipulation seems to result in nothing more than confusion and chaos with no discernible endgame, leading to the conclusion that Noisemaze apparently just wants to watch the world burn. Those drawing this conclusion are closer to understanding Noisemaze than they realise. Originally forged on the world known only as "Planet X" as one of thousands of mass-produced warriors, Noisemaze and those sharing his design would sweep across alien worlds, exterminating all opposition so his commanders could claim the world as their own, strip-mining it of all its usable resources. Eventually, Planet X came into conflict with one of Cybertron's lost colonies, Gigantion. The resulting war ended in the complete destruction of Planet X. Noisemaze was one of the few survivors, and spent a few stellar cycles eking out an existence as a mercenary while plotting revenge on Gigantion. When Noisemaze learned that Gigantion was but one colony of Cybertron, Noisemaze declared that he would work toward the destruction of Cybertron and all its colonies by disrupting the quest to awaken Primus, thus ensuring all creation will be consumed by the Unicron singularity.

Alien spaceship mode:

Transformers Cybertron Noisemaze Alien spaceship mode

Author notes:

I imagine a fair number of you reading this are thinking "wait, isn't this character Sideways"? And you are right - in Hasbro's Transformers Cybertron toyline, this character was indeed named Sideways. Hasbro's secondary canon storytelling even reconciled this Sideways with the one who turned up in Transformers Armada.

I was never at ease with having this guy be the same guy as in Transformers Armada for a few reasons. First, Sideways dies at the end of Transformers Armada in a pretty definitive fashion, and I feel like it undermines the amount of effort that went into finally defeating him to have him return to life years down the line. Second, in my mind Armada Sideways is the same guy as Robots in Disguise Sideways - an origin that isn't easily reconcilable with the origin we're given for Cybertron Sideways. Plus, the personalities are different - while both are manipulative, Armada Sideways is a much darker character while Cybertron Sideways is more a chaotic factor (the function even almost ended up being "agent of chaos", but I wanted to downplay any potential Unicron connection on Cybertron Sideways).

All of this is a long way of saying that to me, Armada Sideways and Cybertron Sideways are different guys. Hence to distinguish the two as separate characters, I use the name "Noisemaze" - the awesome Japanese name for Cybertron Sideways - for this character.

Toys of Transformers Cybertron Noisemaze

Transformers Cybertron Sideways

Transformers Cybertron Sideways Robot mode posed 1 Transformers Cybertron Sideways Robot mode posed 2 Transformers Cybertron Sideways Robot mode posed 3
Transformers Cybertron Sideways with Force Chip weapon deployed 1 Transformers Cybertron Sideways with Force Chip weapon deployed 2 Transformers Cybertron Sideways with Force Chip weapon deployed 3
Transformers Cybertron Sideways spaceship mode, alternate angle Transformers Cybertron Sideways spaceship mode on flight stand 1 Transformers Cybertron Sideways spaceship mode on flight stand 2 Transformers Cybertron Sideways spaceship mode on flight stand 3
This toy is phenomenally cool looking - it is one of my all-tme favourite Transformers toy designs. The combination of colours and the weird, alien design just looks incredible and very different than a lot of the other designs in the toyline. I particularly like the spaceship mode on this one - it's a proper alien spacefighter mode, like the kind of thing you'd be blowing away waves of throughout Gradius or Galaga. The robot mode is really well done as well, and I like the weapons, especially the way the two wing sections form swords (or a wicked double-bladed weapon). The arm cannon is also very nice, with the spring-out blades also being a nice touch. The poseability is really decent too, with everything you'd want short of a waist swivel and ankle tilts.

He's a brilliant toy, I am glad to own him and many of his redecos and remolds. I'd love to have the DVD exclusive mass production version too, but that one is very rare and expensive.

More information on Transformers Cybertron Noisemaze at TFW2005

See more Transformers Cybertron toys in my collection.